Caitlin's Knits

So what else would I be doing on a Sunday night if not watching Sarah Palin's Alaska?  I'll have to find out next week, as tonight I'm watching the 2-hour series finale while preparing for my competency exams tomorrow.  After the shooting yesterday, Mrs. Palin has received heavy criticism from critics due to her "violent rhetoric".  I was going to blog about it, but other things in my life have come up which makes such events moot.  Stuff much closer to home.

Though I'm torn between wanting to write everything I've thought and felt about this very personal situation here, I think its probably better that I don't.  Or at least that I give a very minuscule version of actual events.

The condensed version is this:

I have been friends with this girl (E) for approximately seven years, beginning in 9th grade.  I posted this on my facebook:

By the way, I've tried to hang out with my friends over and over again. I'm kind of sick and tired of the avoidance and bull shit, so if you want me come and find me. :)

E shit a wig and flipped out.  I felt E had been avoiding me, though the whole post was not directed at her. Not my best nor most eloquent post.  E gave me a piece of her mind, and I gave her a little of mine.  E deleted and removed me from facebook no chance to even talk our issues through.  E made it abundantly clear that she was upset and through with me and tired of my "abuse".  I made it clear that I was clueless as to what had set her off before this event, as she seemed to have been angry at me for awhile.  I therefore decided to give her that and remove her from my life as much as possible as that is what she seemed to want.  I won't beg nor push myself on anyone.

But its a cycle I've seen before over and over again.  I know the outcome and I know what will be asked of me in the future.  I also know that my response will be "no".  "No, I won't let us go back to where we were until you have sought a modicum of help".  Though its not appropriate to discuss here, E has some instability, which has caused most of our problems in the past.  And I can't handle it before.  You wanted "out", you're staying "out"  and I hope you are ok with sticking to that decision, because its a permanent one unless my one condition is met.   Harsh, but true, because at some point I need to think about what is going to be best for me in the long run.  And the drama is only going to hurt me.

Hopefully I can get some knitting up soon.